Monday, October 31, 2011

You made Halloween fun again

Sweet Caroline,

Past the age of about 12, I'd really kind of lost interest in Halloween. Candy's nice and all, but it's not like it's a hot commodity that I have to beg door to door for once a year. It's also sitting on the shelf at Walgreens. I'm not hating on Halloween, mind you. For lots of people it's an awesome reason to get dressed up (like a slut) and drink excessively. Woohoo!
Mind you, there was a brief time in my life that I was a strong supporter of those things, but it's long since passed me by. Here I am, 25 years old, complaining about those damn crazy kids makin' a ruckus on the street. Don't they know that it's 8:30 at night? Good Lord - some of us have jobs!
You have changed me profoundly, you see.
Annnnyway. This was your second Halloween. Last year, you were all of 7 months old so we sat your butt next to a pumpkin, took a picture, and called it a successful first Halloween.
But oh, 2011 was your second. We opted not to take you trick-or-treating for several reasons. First and foremost, you are insistent on acting like you can't walk, even though we see you walk all the time. I have seen you walk backwards. But, nonetheless, when it really matters that you walk, especially out in public, your knees give out and you'd rather crawl or be dragged by your danging arm. Therefore, trick-or-treating seemed to have a lot of potential for not-funness. Some smaller reasons include colder weather and the fact that Daddy's working and Mommy doesn't have the mental fortitude to drag you around our neighborhood alone.
Instead, I grabbed some candy and a 40 cent treat bag from Kroger on my way home from work, stuck you in your costume, took a picture, and called it a successful second Halloween. I'll tell you what, though... you were into it.
You tore into your candy like a veteran candy eater with years of Reese's cup consumption under your belt. You freaked out and insisted on coming with me to the door each time kids knocked, and passionately waved and screamed "HIIIII" at anyone within ear shot. It was so stupid cute that it made me get all those obnoxious parents who try to let their toddler pass out the candy, even though the kid's not letting even one tiny piece get given away to strangers. The parents think it's cute to include the kid, while the toddler's thinking "Go away, bottom feeders. Get a job or a Mommy and Daddy of your own and get your own candy!!!"
I contemplated letting you pass out candy for a split second, but I decided you going baby-zombie on some unsuspecting 5 year old dressed like a princess might not be the ideal way for our night to go.
...Maybe next year. Until then, thank you for being a contiunal source of the smile on my face.


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