Monday, April 30, 2012

Seriously, you did what in my bathtub?

Sweet, stinky Caroline,

In our tender two years together, you have done a lot of gross stuff. Even from the beginning when you passed your meconium while in the womb, making my water break yellowish green. As a first time who was already scared shitless (har har) that was an added anxiety that I really didn't need!
Time and time again, it always seemed to fall to me to be the victim of your grossness. From spit up to actually having you vomit into my hands, we've been through a lot together.
But tonight you really outdid yourself.
For the first... and hopefully last... time, you crapped in the bathtub.
The tub that I take such pride in scrubbing to a point that you could eat out of it. Maybe it was my fault, since I had you all excited by turning the shower on ever so slightly so you could pretend it was raining in the tub.
Either way, it was a horrible moment when I saw what you had done. I felt so bad for you, because you felt so terrible about the mixup between the potty (pooping in it = good and you get stickers) and the tub (pooping in it = bad and Mommy has to clean you and it). You even asked if you were getting a sticker since you didn't poop in your diaper. Not quite what I meant when I said if you use the potty you get a reward! You did your best to reach into the tub to help me scrub it out, but obviously I didn't see that as a productive use of our time.
Gross, kiddo. Daddy thought it was hilarious, since he was conveniently not home at the time and just got to listen to me freaking out about my poop hands as I cleaned up the aftermath. I'm trusting you to seek vengeance on my behalf.


Thursday, April 19, 2012

Go the F to sleep!

Sweet Caroline,

This used to be what you did with the bulk of your day. Napping. Do you remember napping? It was awesome.

My sweet girl... it's 2pm. Do you know what that means? That means it's naptime for Ookie Bear, and you need to go the F to sleep. That does not mean call my name, "accidentally" throw toys out of your crib for me to fetch, or plot devious ways to get into trouble later this afternoon. It means lay down, be quiet, and sleep. For like... 2 hours. Please. If not for you, than for me. Mommy has an intense amount of crap to do that can't be done with your sweet, sweet help. Lesson plans need writing, toilets need scrubbing, and hey, Angry Birds need birding. That's right, even mommies sometimes need to do nothing, which can't be done if you don't nap.
Also, you are not my sweet girl if you don't nap. You are a foul, mean, cranky thing and we both know it's best if you are the sweet girl. You're very smart. I know you can do this. You can count to ten (ignoring 4-7, because they apparently don't matter to you). You know an amazing amount of letters and colors, which you can show off to me at any time but when you are supposed to be sleeping.
And when you are supposed to be sleeping... is now. I can hear you! I know it's our fault, because we made the mistake for months of running to your every whimper convinced that if we didn't we were destroying you emotionally. We know better now. We know that you're clever, and sometimes devious. It's hard for me and Daddy sometimes to accept that you're our big girl two year old, and capable of manipulation. You know that we're here for you, and we would never, ever leave you to "cry it out" if you really needed us. I think that with that in consideration, you could occasionally cut us a break from the emotional abuse of whimpering our names knowing that it kills us to be firm and not run to you.
Even now, I ran to your room after you cried out for me. Glad I did, because you had your cell phone stuck in your pant leg.
Cell phone. Stuck. In pants. I don't even know where to start with that. How did you sneak your phone into bed? Why was it in your pants?
No matter... I fixed it.
So please, please, please... go to sleep. Because if you do, there's a teeny, tiny chance that Momma could nap too.


This is what you do with the bulk of your time now. You are a crazy, joyous ball of energy and we love you. But you still have to sleep sometimes. Like now. Now would be great.

Sunday, April 1, 2012

We survived your second year!

Sweet Caroline,

I'm sorry I've fallen so behind in writing these letters for you... it's almost like I've busy running after a toddler!

You turned two this Monday. The night before as we got ready for bedtime, you snuggled up in my lap to read a book. I found myself tearing up as I thought about how your days of being a baby are leaving us, and you're moving so fast to being a big girl. I hope you'll hold onto those sweet moments of quiet cuddling for as long as you can. I'm so proud of all you've learned and accomplished, but I will miss my sweet little baby.
For your first birthday, we spent way too much money on a birthday cake that didn't fully get eaten, and presents you probably didn't need. The pictures of you with icing all the way up to your ears was worth every penny! That night, we took you out for dinner at Bonefish Grill, fancy dress and all. You were so well behaved that night!
That was a year ago. This year, we played it smart. I baked a cake and decorated it with Elmo figurines (your request, of course). We took you to the park to feed the ducks (the quack quacks) and play on the playground. You had a wonderful time and looked like such a big girl, a TWO year old, running around all by yourself. You have this amazing personality where you're hesitant at first in new situations, but you take off independently once you feel confident. Some people tell us you're like that because you don't go to preschool; that you need to be "socialized". Those days will come soon enough, and we will never regret doing everything we could to let you be home with us for as long as possible.
You celebrated your second birthday by throwing an epic tantrum that morning... over nothing. Ah, the nothing tantrums. Laid out on the floor, flopping your legs like you don't know how to work them. Your temper, fortunately, is a flash in the pan. Bright and burning for a moment, but over quickly and completely. You can't stand that we're actually saying "no" to you these days, but believe me, we're doing what's best for you! Ice cream three meals a day may sound fantastic, but in the long run, we're doing you a favor by occasionally saying no.

You've grown and changed dramatically this past year. You're walking,talking, and have the most inquisitive spirit. You absorb new information like a sponge and stun us by rattling off colors, numbers, and letters. You're always imitating us, from using Daddy's same authoritative voice to tell the dogs to "sit down!" to clomping around in my flip flops. You always make us laugh, even when you're being ridiculous.

I'm so excited to see what's in store for you this year. You're going to learn so much! You're our big girl now, and we're so lucky to be your parents, each and every day.

We love you very much. Happy birthday, sweet girl.