Sweet, stinky Caroline,
In our tender two years together, you have done a lot of gross stuff. Even from the beginning when you passed your meconium while in the womb, making my water break yellowish green. As a first time who was already scared shitless (har har) that was an added anxiety that I really didn't need!
Time and time again, it always seemed to fall to me to be the victim of your grossness. From spit up to actually having you vomit into my hands, we've been through a lot together.
But tonight you really outdid yourself.
For the first... and hopefully last... time, you crapped in the bathtub.
YOU CRAPPED IN THE BATHTUB.
The tub that I take such pride in scrubbing to a point that you could eat out of it. Maybe it was my fault, since I had you all excited by turning the shower on ever so slightly so you could pretend it was raining in the tub.
Either way, it was a horrible moment when I saw what you had done. I felt so bad for you, because you felt so terrible about the mixup between the potty (pooping in it = good and you get stickers) and the tub (pooping in it = bad and Mommy has to clean you and it). You even asked if you were getting a sticker since you didn't poop in your diaper. Not quite what I meant when I said if you use the potty you get a reward! You did your best to reach into the tub to help me scrub it out, but obviously I didn't see that as a productive use of our time.
Gross, kiddo. Daddy thought it was hilarious, since he was conveniently not home at the time and just got to listen to me freaking out about my poop hands as I cleaned up the aftermath. I'm trusting you to seek vengeance on my behalf.